Last night, my cousin, Cherry Mary Muffin (a nickname my Dad gave her as a child), gave me a call (I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was asleep when she called). We managed to have an entire conversation quoting our favourite commercials (specifically infomericals). Here’s a little taste of what was said:
Me: OMG! Every time I see the Whiskas commercial featuring Hubert, I think of you. “I’m a carnivore. I need meat. MEAT.”
Cherry Mary Muffin: Yes! The part with him on the roof and he gives the camera the cold shoulder.
M: Hilarious! By the way. What’d you think of the slap chop?
CMM: You’re gonna love my nuts. (note: please watch the linked video above to get a full understanding of the rest of this conversation).
M: You don’t want a boring life! You don’t want a boring salad! Stop having a boring life!
CMM: These onions are making me cry. These onions are making you cry. You don’t wanna cry anymore. Listen, we’re gonna make America skinny.
M: Did you hear that Billy Mays call out Vince on Adam Corolla?
CMM: No!Have you seen his informercial for Mighty Mend-It?
M: Is it the “sewing” tool for single men?
CMM: Yes! Like glue! How do you feel about the Snuggie?
M: I feel I need it in sage green! My goodness, seriously one of the best products ever. I love the dramatization of life pre-Snuggie.
CMM: Just wear a robe the wrong way!
M: It’s not the same.
CMM: There’s a Snuggie rip-off, you know?
M: Yes, and it’s double the price. What’s it called again?
CMM: Hang on. I’m looking into it. The Slanket!
M: Not as good. I think, next Christmas, I’m buying all of my gifts from infomercials. Makes life easier. My Dad will get an Aquaglobe, Snuggies for the family, you can have a commemorative Obama coin, how about the Slap Chop with Gratey gift?
CMM: If you think about it, with the Slap Chop and Gratey, you really get two gifts in one.
M: No, they need to be gifted together. Otherwise, you’re having a boring life. You know, Vince is really creepy looking. I checked out his Wiki page, the one you sent me, and movies about feces? SICK!!!
CMM: Tell me about it.
M: Alright dude. I’m out. Come over next week.
CMM: Later. Meat.
And there you have a phone conversation between me and my cousin. It’s a wonder I don’t talk on the phone more often.
Forget Toronto Life. You need a subscription to the Sky Mall catalogue.
And PS–I totally have a Sham-Wow.
fettuccine, martini, bikini… I’m not gonna have a boring life!
Olga, I saw my first live shamwow demo at the auto show last week. I wasn’t totally sold (but I think that’s partly because vince wasn’t there promoting it).
Nicole, stop having a boring salad!
Oh — you have got to see this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw8Y
Haha. I love it! I saw it right after coming home from a terrible movie *cough, confessions of a shopaholic, cough*, it made up for the fact that I wasted money on the worst film ever. WTF?!
instead of a “Snuggie” i prefer to call mine a “Power Blanket”
[...] pm Tags: informercial, snuggie, snuggie for dogs, dog You must know by now my sick obsession with infomercials. I think they hideously great! I’ve found my new favourite, are you [...]